Oh Jessica, ever since my first love, Angelina Jolie, decided to get knocked up and adopt seventy children, I have had a huge void in my heart. I thought me and Ange were inseparable. I even came up with a Hollywood couple name for us: Hamgelina. Luckily, I came across this wonderful piece of news today from Yahoo! videogames about how you, Jessica Alba, enjoy video games. What a coincidence, Jessica. I like video games (as well as half naked womens) too!
I swell up with delight to hear that you enjoy playing with yourself in the games you’ve been portrayed:
I have seen myself in video games, like in Dark Angel or the first Fantastic Four game. It’s weird. It doesn’t seem like me, but it is. It’s totally weird. It’s like having an action figure. It’s super cool
Not only that, but your love for the Nintendo DS is so great, you bought one for the entire cast of Fantastic Four 2:
“I had my DS on the set of Fantastic Four and I bought it for my entire cast when we wrapped,” said Alba. “I guess I just felt bad because between takes they’d be chatting and we were in the Fantasticar and I’d always have my iPod and my DS with me. It was like fingernail-biting, gripping moments in the movie and then, “Cut!” I’d pick up my DS and try to beat my 82 age in Brain Age. I’d try to memorize all of those damn words.”
Whoa, your brain age is 82?! Mine is 23 … I didn’t know we were so different. That means you’re like a grandma. I, I don’t know what to say. No, age is just a number. It doesn’t matter if we love each other. I’m desperate open-minded enough to know that really, it doesn’t matter how unsmart you are. I love you Jessica, that’s all that matters.
Love,
Hamza Aziz
