Promoted from our Community Blogs
Why do I hear explosions!? Did the cops find my highly illegal brothel and are bombarding the place? YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!
Oh, wait, were those just fireworks? Eh, it’s an honest mistake. Still, I wonder why people are firing them all of a sudden… Is it because today’s the 50th week of Comments of the Week? Why, it must be! After all, it isn’t like it’s New Years or anything!
That’s right! There are officially 50 weeks-worth of the revived community showcase, Comments of the Week, and it’s all thanks to the fine folks over at Destructoid! Seriously, give yourselves a hand. I couldn’t have done it without YOU.
Well, I COULD, but then that would make me seem like a narcissist. After all, this is where I go out and find all the best comments that’s been said over the week so community members who can’t be everywhere at once — lazy ass bums! — can all get together and laugh at each other behind their backs! As always, comments are compiled and categorized into three separate sections:
TRUTH: In Stonehaven, Scotland, people celebrate New Years by parading the streets with giant balls of fire.
LOL: I’m not talking about their testicles!
WUT?: But ladies, feel free to talk about mine! 😛
Anyway, if you missed last week’s Comments of the Week, where I lament the fact that Santa is going to be gone for another year, then check out my unbridled rage right here!
From Michael Fassbender on Assassin’s Creed film: ‘The fans are really passionate’
Dreamweaver: You can’t argue with that kind of logic!
From Fallout 4 has been beaten without killing anyone, but it didn’t go smoothly
Dreamweaver: HE HAS SPOKEN!
Dreamweaver: Sounds like someone… is going to have a bad time.
From New 3DS XL and Hyrule Gold Edition on sale for $175 at GameStop
Dreamweaver: He’s so good, I already took my pants off!
From Final Fantasy IX is releasing on PC and mobile next year
Dreamweaver: I can confirm. Not Quina.
From Review: Minecraft: Wii U Edition
Dreamweaver: Could be worse. It could be a Vita.
Dreamweaver: It’s true, he did say that.
From Koei Tecmo implies NX is a home console
Dreamweaver: Just fuck them in the bathroom like normal people!
From The Xbox One might be getting a ‘Lightweight’ model
Dreamweaver: Go on…
From Remember the EarthBound-like YIIK? It’s coming to Xbox One now too
Dreamweaver: I can literally hear the rimshot.
From When is no advertising the best advertising?
Dreamweaver: Shots fired! No, wait, that’s the damn fireworks again.
From Don’t worry, those classic Pokemon 3DS releases will take up practically no space
Dreamweaver: Everyone knows only the hardest of gangsters play Pokemon!
Dreamweaver: Not those kinds of sausages! Pervert.
From Waves 2 is out on Early Access, looks to channel Geometry Wars
Dreamweaver: No, but Squid in a Box is making Waves 2. :3
From Solid dad joke
Dreamweaver: A dad making a “your mom” joke to his own daughter… now I’ve seen everything.
From GODDAMNIT, DOGMEAT
Dreamweaver: So, a promotion? 😛
From Licking and sucking are just two ways you’ll control games at GDC 2016
Dreamweaver: These are not the boobies I’m looking for.
Dreamweaver: Cant tell which is funnier: the story, or that he calls Jesus “The dude.”
From Hyrule Warriors Legends is getting a pre-order bonus in Japan
Dreamweaver: Well, he can’t be THAT miserable. 😛
From An oldie but a goodie headlines January’s PlayStation Plus free games
Dreamweaver: I, too, agree with Conversationstarter.
From Yacht Club says finding a Shovel Knight amiibo ‘shouldn’t be a problem’
Dreamweaver: “Shovel ware?”
I think it’s in the shed. *rimshot*
From Joe Parlock’s personal picks for Game of the Year 2015
Dreamweaver: Don’t you mean don’t “blow” this for me? :3
From New accessory claims to fully charge an Xbox One controller in under a minute
Dreamweaver: I still have to wait like 53 seconds. 🙁
From Here are the doujin games of Comiket 89
Dreamweaver: This is why Kyle can’t have nice things!
From Ark: Survival Evolved has more daily players on Xbox One than Steam
Dreamweaver: He never did answer my question.
Dreamweaver: IT’S ALL SO CLEAR TO ME NOW.
From Confirmed: 2016 will have boobs
Dreamweaver: Doesn’t everyone?
From This World of Warcraft Dark Portal frame is badass
Dreamweaver: …Is she inviting me in?
From Nintendo Download: Molly Maggot
Dreamweaver: When is it NOT?
From 2015 recap: The ten most popular posts on Destructoid this year
Dreamweaver: Whatever happened to It’s About to Get Gay in Here, he once was the boss
I swear to my Goddess that I had all his blogs on my Topsauce
From MLG potentially sold ‘substantially all’ its assets to Activision
Dreamweaver: Clearly, his parents are so much more cooler than ours.
Except Xeo’s daughter. Her dad tells “your mom” jokes.
From Bloggers Wanted: White Whales
Dreamweaver: Did he? 😛
From PSA: Killer Instinct is Cross-Buy on PC, so your free Games With Gold download transfers
Dreamweaver: I checked out a hot girl’s ass AND got punched in the face by her? This year’s already getting off to a good start!
Well, that’s it for this edition! I hope you enjoyed yourself, I hope you laughed a couple of times, and I hope you will be thinking of me the very next time you fap. If I don’t sneeze, then you clearly weren’t saying my name loud enough!
