The review you score yourself
What Binding of Isaac does for The Legend of Zelda, GoNNER comes pretty darn close to doing for Metroid. Like Metroid, it’s largely about stumbling upon bizarre new creatures. Some can be peacefully avoided, others require hard and fast hunting, and all the while you’ll feel intimidated and excited by the living, breathing alien world you’re thrust into. After a few rounds, you’ll learn that retreading old ground with new items and weapons allows you to go places and do things that would have seemed impossible at first, giving even more depth to the organic environments.
Unlike most roguelikes, GoNNER balances procedurally generated levels with a fair amount of consistently placed power-ups, all of which can be kept as a permanent part of your initial load-out options. Where many games in the genre don’t quickly reward the player for persistence, GoNNER allows you to build both your skill and your ongoing inventory of tools at a fairly brisk pace.
The downside to that is, it won’t take your average player as long to see everything here as in comparable games like Isaac and Spelunky. Then again, it’s only $10, and still offers the potential for tens of hours of action and discovery, so compared to something like Kamiko, it’s definitely not a bad deal.
This is just one of the many pro versus con arguments worth weighing while deciding if GoNNER is right for you. If you still can’t decide after reading our review, take the quiz below for some added insight.
#1 Do you already own GoNNER?
YES ~ -50 NO ~ -0 Go to question #4
#2 Are you really excited about playing it again on a portable?
YES ~ +100 NO ~ -0
#3 Do you hate it when rumble is the only new featured added for a Switch port?
YES ~ -50 NO ~ -0
END QUIZ. GO TO SCORING AT THE END OF QUIZ.
#4 Do you like the combination of traditional Mario-style head-stomping action with run-and-gun combat connected together with a kinetic, expressive physics engine and (mostly) procedurally generated level designs?
YES ~ +100 NO ~ -100
#5 Do you like flat, constantly squiggling, vibrant 2D graphics that come off like a cross between Día de los Muertos, Tim Burton’s high school sketchbook and Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist?
YES ~ +50 NO ~ -50
#6 Do you like decoding bizarre video game logic that fuses story and mechanics into a cohesive but cryptic whole?
YES ~ +25 NO ~ -25
#7 Do you like experimenting with different weapons and items to customize an evolving playstyle?
YES ~ +25 NO ~ -25
#8 Do you like balancing the need to run for your life and conserve ammo with the urge to get up close and kill everything in sight (AKA the Resident Evil 4 flow)
YES ~ +25 NO ~ -25
#9 Are you OK with suffering some surprising deaths caused in part by being confused by all the action on-screen?
YES ~ -0 NO ~ -25
#10 Are you overwhelmed by sheer number of possibilities posed by many popular roguelikes and would rather take on something more finite and manageable?
YES ~ +25 NO ~ -25
#11 Do you like competing for higher and higher scores, both against yourself and on a Daily Runs online leaderboard, even after you’ve beaten a game?
YES ~ +25 NO ~0
SCORING
0 or less: Surprise! Don’t buy it.
0-49: If you have to choose between death and buying this game, buy the game I guess.
50-99: If you are bored, rich, and are ready to buy a game that you’ll probably never finish, then go for it.
100-149: Pick it up if you can afford it right now. If not, wait for a sale. Just don’t forget about it in the meantime.
150-199: Get it. You’ll get your money’s worth at full price.
200 or more: You’re going to love this thing HARD.
