Guitar playing isn’t a f*cking videogame, says Noel Gallagher

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Oasis string plucker Noel Gallagher is at it again, sharing his expert opinion on videogames. A while back, he decided to blame knife crime on games, and now he’s summed up Guitar Hero in the only way he knows how — rudely.

“It’s better than two goblins trying to f**k a donkey up the arse with a laser beam,” stated the musician and former drug fiend, suggesting that Guitar Hero was at least superior to traditionally violent titles. “When I meet kids I always say to them playing a guitar is not a f*cking videogame, there is no level to get to. You’ll never master it and you’ll never complete the game.”

Gallagher of course has never played Guitar Hero or even heard of it until recently, despite an Oasis song appearing in World Tour. His obsession with goblins raping people with lasers is a bit worrying too. This is the second time he’s talked about being f*cked up the arse with that particular tool, as he expressed similar sentiments the last time Guitar Hero was discussed … the Guitar Hero he now claims he’s not heard of until now.

I think the coke’s fried his brains.

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James Stephanie Sterling
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