Two Worlds II gets screens as all Earth’s babies cry out

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When Two Worlds II was announced, it is said that Jesus Christ himself wept tears of purest piss and that every virgin girl in the world had her hymen shattered into a thousand bloodsoaked pieces. It was as if Adolf Hitler had raped The Devil and his seed had helped birth the very essence of Sin. What I’m trying to say is that Two Worlds was f*cking awful, and a sequel is the last thing anybody wanted.

Two Worlds II developer Reality Pump is using the RPG follow-up to debut a new engine called GRACE, which will deliver a “breathtaking experience.” Considering the last game made me pull out and eat my own hair in madness and rage, I must be forgiven for remaining somewhat skeptical, but you know what? Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. 

So here we are then, brand new screens for Two Worlds II, a sequel to possibly the worst RPG of this generation. Will it be good? Let’s wait and find out!

Las Vegas, October 19th 2009 – It’s time again to return to the world of Antaloor. Fulfill your carnal curiosity by checking out four brand new screens directly from the RPG masterpiece, “Two Worlds II.”  The game’s developers, Reality Pump, have created a revolutionary new engine called GRACE, and these screen shots give testimony to the engine’s capabilities.  

A trip to the swamps will demonstrate the breathtaking experience that Two Worlds II has to offer.  The result of Reality Pump’s extensive technical development, the game’s environment has been painstakingly created to fully immerse the player into the Antaloorian universe.  For example, the marshy ground sucks at the character’s feet hindering his movement more so then if he was on dry land.  Additionally, dynamic sounds have been constructed to further demonstrate the game’s attention to detail.    When the hero steps into the marshy ground, he will hear a terrifyingly disgusting squishing noise that will make the player cringe with delight.

Luckily, there are many wooden paths and stakes placed throughout the swamp, which will allow the player to traverse the treacherous terrain with more ease.  However, whether you can use the comfortable paths and bridges without paying a toll depends on the disposition of the local residents – and you better believe that “Have a good day!” does not pass their lips on a regular basis. But let’s face it…would you be bubblin’ over with joy if you had to wake up every day to drizzling rain and tendril of swamp mist?

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James Stephanie Sterling
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