Part of me hates writing these posts, because, hey, if you’ve seen one episode of game-oriented television in the ’80s, you’ve more or less seen them all. We’re at that age now where we can all look back and realize that The Wizard was a marketing stunt, Nick Arcade contestants were developmentally disabled, and “tips” almost always meant “dodge and hit the enemy with your weapon”. These shows were awful, and a crime against every lad they suckered into appearing on, watching, or even thinking of watching them.
But much like the eternal flame memorial you made for your cat when he drank a quart of paint thinner and exploded into chunky kibble, I’m posting this video so we can remember those who fell victim to the darker days of gaming television. G4’s a pile of crap, sure. But Video Power was pile of crappier.
Video Power’s previous incarnation was a cartoon starring Acclaim characters. I’m going to repeat that: a cartoon starring Acclaim characters. This included Tyrone from Arch Rivals, Kuros from Wizards & Warriors, and Big Foot. What? No, not that Big Foot. The f**king truck Big Foot. The show metamorphosed into a game show starring the misanthropic coke-fueled Johnny Arcade lording over a corral of maladroit kids, making them play games and ask pre-scripted obscure trivia questions (“What boss characters are based in the Bronx?” Yeah, that was a burning question for 8-year-olds around the country).
As a reward for enduring such punishment, producers would shovel copies of Karate Kid and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde upon the kids, which is producerese for “go home and kill yourself“, if you weren’t already aware. There’s a swell place to read up on the horrors that lurked behind the camera, if you’re interested, and you can hit the jump for the rest of episode one and three more complete episodes of Video Power. Abandon hope, all ye who yadda yadda et cetera.
Episode One, Part Two
Episode Two, Part One
Episode Two, Part Two
Episode Three, Part One
Episode Three, Part Two
Episode Four, Part One
Episode Four, Part Two
