Cold Stone Creamery (Wii) voice acting will haunt me forever

Scoop it Up, daddy

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You hear the first “good jooobbb” at :30 and what was once a weird, branded* cash-in with a Candy Crush color scheme and, well, a Candy Crush everything — when did this come out? 2009! — becomes a little less comfortable.

*Because of regional differences (what the fuck’s a Hardee’s!?) might be worth mentioning that Cold Stone is an ice cream chain, like a slightly more bougie Baskin Robbins, possibly predecessor to that living abomination of an ice cream chain, Cream. Don’t name your dumb ass ice cream store after buchered Wu Tang Clan lyrics, ya rats! Plus, Mitchell’s for life.

And then you’re introduced to that clapping…laugh? at 1:11. Over and over. HEHEHE. HEHEHE. HEHEHE. HEHEHE. It reminds me of this:

I’m not sure how it came up and I don’t want to scroll up high enough in work chat to find out, but kudos to Darren for remembering the Wii classic Cold Stone Creamery: Scoop it Up, kudos to me for not headlining this article “Scoop me, daddy,” and kudos to vuoi for all the bad video game voice acting you’re probably going to dump in the comments.

Here, I’ll start.

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Steven Hansen
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