#83 – Sorry! Sorry. I’m sorry. Sorry.
Welcome back to Comments of the Week, which is your favorite weekly segment that features the very best part of Destructoid: me… featuring you guys… but more importantly, me! I mean, it takes about a dozen of you folks to equal even half of me, which is why in order to avoid stealing all of the spotlight for myself, I have to feature y’all in this community showcase. As always, you can expect to see these comments in three separate categories:
TRUTH: An elephant calf weighs about 230 lbs when it’s born.
LOL: So does your mom.
WUT?: I’m calling your mom fat, not an elephant. Just, just so we’re clear.
If you missed last week’s edition of Comments of the Week, you can remedy that by clicking here. But no one needs to do that. I mean, you’re totally caught up, right? Come on, what’s more important than me? Your kids? Well, I got news for you: they aren’t yours anyway.
From Final Fantasy XV delayed until November 29
Dreamweaver: What I say to hookers I knock up, but about babies.
Dreamweaver: Calling them Square seems awfully rude, considering how honest they were.
Dreamweaver: You mean… I can actually put the game in and DON’T have to wait for a huge download? My Goddess, what is this, the 90s?
From Witcher 3 saves not compatible with GOTY edition
Dreamweaver: “witcher one”
But this is The Witcher 3 though.
Here, let me help you remember: a onesome is what you do, and a threesome is what I do… when I’m tired.
From Rumor: Kingdom Hearts III on Nintendo NX?
Dreamweaver: This is NXcusable.
From Carmen Sandiego caught at last
Dreamweaver: Where do you think he got the mustache?
From Final Fantasy XV’s Ultimate Edition isn’t all that ultimate
Dreamweaver: He means being paid to be an arsonist.
From Are you doing the Destiny Year Two Moments of Triumph?
Dreamweaver: Or playing with someone other than yourself.
From That new Final Fantasy movie is out and apparently sucks
Dreamweaver: Can we call him The Jedinator?
From Sony’s refund policy under scrutiny after No Man’s Sky launch
Dreamweaver: Reminds me of those GameFAQs “will not change until” signatures…
From What’s your Final Fantasy?
Dreamweaver: My Final Fantasy involves a nice bitch and no time to talk.
From Nintendo at gamescom: Yo-kai Watch 2 Europe release, 2DS bundles, and more
Dreamweaver: The Beavis and Butthead editions.
From Pokemon Go teens flashed by laser-wielding, pig-masked sex couple
Dreamweaver: I need to move to Sweden.
From Watch Overwatch cosplayers watch Overwatch porn
Dreamweaver: At least the fluid’s coming out of THIS head.
Dreamweaver: Pros don’t even need their hands.
From Here’s what you can expect in the next major Overwatch update
Dreamweaver: This is not the fucking I was hoping for.
From The final update for Fez on PC and Mac is a doozy
Dreamweaver: He’ll be an ELDER before he finishes SCROLLING.
That’s right, I’m funny.
From Please don’t hit the kangaroos in Forza Horizon 3
Dreamweaver: Dammit, as if opposable thumbs weren’t enough!
From Behold, the first screens for Metal Gear Survive, aka, ‘Kojima’s Revenge’
Dreamweaver: Just wait until you meet Tubeman.
From Alright, let’s talk about No Man’s Sky
Dreamweaver: Don’t even joke! I still get PTSD from the great Destructoid Downtime of 2016.
From Beautiful Half-Life 3 troll greets gamescom attendees
Dreamweaver: Such advanced technology!
From Inti Creates is up for Mega Man 9 and 10 re-releases, but needs Capcom’s consent
Dreamweaver: To be fair, he was due to NOT finish something.
From Ubisoft may as well copyright the Collector’s Edition Season Pass combo
Dreamweaver: Can I gift it to Honor instead?
From Solbrain Knight of Darkness steals artwork, music, and more
Dreamweaver: Is… is that true?
From Steins;Gate 0 gets a sweet collector’s edition
Dreamweaver: I thought I’m a dude, he’s a dude, we’re all dudes?
From Koroks return in Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Dreamweaver: WHAT A TWIST.
And… that’s it. That’s all. There’s nothing left in this episode. No after-credits scene, no secret teaser… nada. Don’t just sit there hoping for more. It’s creeping me out. Leave already, the janitors need to clean all the roses people threw at me.
