Down, but not out!
Oh look, for a blog from me that people will actually read! Welcome back to Comments of the Week, I’m your host Dreamweaver, here with all of the hippest and happening comments that I stole from you, the community!
No no, don’t thank me, I’m more than happy to steal your precious comments and claim the glory for myself. After all, bitches love those in power. As always, comments are placed into three categories:
TRUTH: supposedly, rubbing banana peels on mosquito bites can stop the itching.
LOL: in related news, women call my foreskin banana peels…
WUT?: but it causes the itching, not stop it.
If you haven’t checked out last week’s Comments of the Week, then you’re weak for not being able visit every week, which means you’re too weak to handle all of the comments at once. So you know what? You don’t get a link this week. Sucks to be you, because last week was awesome.
From ReCore’s lengthy load times won’t be improved for launch
Dreamweaver: I could masturbate in a fraction of that time! Twice.
From Farming Simulator 2017 does the impossible and brings mods to PS4
Dreamweaver: On the bright side, you have a new fireplace. Which is where the bright side is.
From Sega gives Sonic fans the okay to make games
Dreamweaver: I think I heard a hooker used a similar slogan once.
From Kojima talks about rods and ropes at Sony’s conference
Dreamweaver: Yeah, right now.
Dreamweaver: Or being married with kids.
From Blizzard legend and VP Chris Metzen retires from company
Dreamweaver: He’s right, old people have horrible dodging abilities.
From NieR: Automata hits Japan in February
Dreamweaver: “yet so far for the rest of us.”
I wouldn’t mind having a sofa.
From Don’t ‘worry,’ Call of Duty isn’t going anywhere
Dreamweaver: I wonder if their insults of sleeping with people’s mother would be literal.
From Sony boss thinks No Man’s Sky could have been marketed better
Dreamweaver: That’s right, undersell it so the final product looks amazing in comparison.
Like when I was in my mother’s womb.
From Review: ReCore
Dreamweaver: It’s funny because it’s true.
From Russian man faces 5 years in jail for playing Pokemon Go in church
Dreamweaver: I’m sure worshiping the Pokemon God would have equally punishing results.
From Sony announces anywhereVR for PlayStation VR
Dreamweaver: Just like in one of my Japanese animes.
Dreamweaver: Just pretend you’re looking into other realities of how stupid you look.
Dreamweaver: No, he’s the only one left.
From The PS4 gets folders and HDR today with its 4.0 update
Dreamweaver: Folder? I hardly know her.
From Sonic Mania gets an amazing collector’s edition
Dreamweaver: There’s a sex joke in there somewhere, but like a hooker having a baby, I won’t be the one to make it.
From Resident Evil 7 won’t feature microtransactions
Dreamweaver: There’s a Viagra joke in there somewhere.
From Nintendo Download: Dragon Quest VII
Dreamweaver: When I hear “Dairy Queen,” I have a totally different image in mind.
From Digital Homicide attempts to sue Steam users
Dreamweaver: Oh me, oh my!
From Resident Evil 7 has an updated demo and you don’t need PS Plus to play
Dreamweaver: Hands down, my favorite comment this week.
From Mario and Luigi’s long-lost father appears
Dreamweaver: You can tell his personality just by looking at him?
Alternate joke: Dang Billy, you chilly!
From Good god, that’s the Vita’s music!
Dreamweaver: Well, the PS Vita does have a Sleep function…
From Steam will ‘end relationships’ with developers that scam their reviews system
Dreamweaver: Dsylexics won’t get this joke.
From Suda is down for more remasters after The Silver Case
Dreamweaver: Now his penis has cookies and cream.
From Aragami looks rad and Tenchu as hell, out on October 4
Dreamweaver: That is intriguing… like, like whose underwear will you be stealing?
From Dead or Alive Xtreme is coming to PC
Dreamweaver: Put that bitch in a Valentine’s Day card. Bitches love Valentine’s Day cards.
From Frank West is a millennial, and that’s more dangerous than any zombie apocalypse
Dreamweaver: Pumpkin Spice is what hookers call ass-to-mouth.
From Resident Evil 7 has an updated demo and you don’t need PS Plus to play
Dreamweaver: Is… is that possible?
And that’s it for this week! I know, it’s sad to see ME go, but what can you do? I mean, you could comment more so I can have nice healthy batch of comments for next week… but not too much though, because, because I don’t want you stealing MY spotlight.
