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Welcome back to Comments of the Week where your host, the ever-vigilant Dreamweaver, is here to bring you some of the best comments — said by community members such as yourselves — from last week!
Wait, LAST week? Alright, you got me! Due to a wonky schedule, I haven’t been able to keep up, so you’re just now getting the edition that you should’ve gotten last week this week, and the edition that you’re supposed to be getting this week — which was last week’s comments — is hopefully coming this week… unless things come up and I’ll have to push last week’s into next week and this week’s into the week after next. Ugh, it also doesn’t help that I number them by editions and not by dates, so hopefully I won’t forget that this week is number 59, 60 is the one that’s supposed to be up and running, and 61 is what I’m supposed to be working on this week.
Confused? Don’t be! All YOU need to know is that — as always — the comments of this week, which is the comments from two weeks ago that was supposed to be posted last week, is separated into three categories such as…
TRUTH: in Texas, a man not only bit off the head of a corral snake that bit him, but he even used his body as a tourniquet.
LOL: there’s no reason to laugh, that’s fucking badass!
WUT?: was his name John Doe?
If you want even more confusion, you can check out last week’s Comments of the Week, which was based on the comments said the week before, that was also done in the same week that I posted the two week before last’s Comments of the Week.
From STREET FIGHTER V RAGE-QUITTERS WILL BE ‘SEVERELY PUNISHED’ SOON
Dreamweaver: Whatever happened to that guy, anyway?
From EA BACKS DOWN IN ‘GHOST’ TRADEMARK SQUABBLE WITH UBISOFT
Dreamweaver: It burns to even LOOK at it!
From REVIEW: ATTRACTIO
Dreamweaver: Gesundheit.
Dreamweaver: From a man named Tio.
From WHAT SHOULD SEGA DO NEXT?
Dreamweaver: It’s like cheating on a test!
From UNCHARTED 4: A THIEF’S END GETS ONE MORE DELAY
Dreamweaver: Aren’t we all procrastinating the end?
Dreamweaver: It’s like the more destructive version of Pee-wee’s Playhouse.
From RESIDENT EVIL’S 20TH ANNIVERSARY MONTH KICKS OFF WITH PSN SALE
Dreamweaver: At least he was kind enough to say “probably.”
From MAN DATES BODY PILLOW IN OFFICIAL SENRAN KAGURA: ESTIVAL VERSUS AD
Dreamweaver: Couch cushions? More like couch “shush-ions”!
Dreamweaver: I know this from experience!
From RUMOR: NINTENDO FUNDING BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL SEQUEL
Dreamweaver: I’m not good with math, but I’m pretty 74% sure he’s right. I’m also 62% sure he’s left.
From REVIEW: RAZER MAMBA CHROMA
Dreamweaver: I’d buy that off the used market!
From RYU CAN ALSO SLAP HIS BUTT IN STREET FIGHTER V
Dreamweaver: Don’t Street Fight the feeling.
Dreamweaver: You’ll need to go to Holme’s House for the rest.
From NINTENDO OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCES NEW NINTENDO SELECTS FOR THE US
Dreamweaver: It would make then 20% cooler in my opinion.
Yes, that was a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic reference. I’m totally bitter that our DirecTV subscription doesn’t have Discovery Family Channel. 🙁
From REVIEW: RAZER KRAKEN MOBILE HEADSET
Dreamweaver: Colorist.
Dreamweaver: I did. I did warn him.
From A NEW NINTENDO DIRECT IS COMING THURSDAY, COMPANY SPECIFICALLY MENTIONS NO NX NEWS
Dreamweaver: Quick, staring contest! You, me, now!
Dreamweaver: I wish I spoke eagle.
Dreamweaver: …Fuck, I failed quantum physics.
Dreamweaver: Well, if it’s Japanese, you read from right to left.
From USING THE POKEMON BANK NETS YOU A FREE REGIROCK, REGICE, AND REGISTEEL
Dreamweaver: Gosh darn it.
From NINTENDO DOWNLOAD: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: TWILIGHT PRINCESS HD
Dreamweaver: They also sell Bayonetta 2. Coincidence? Probably.
From METAL GEAR SOLID FAN REMAKE GETS CANCELED
Dreamweaver: Better than being despised.
From WARGAMING AND DISNEY JUST PULLED OUT OF E3
Dreamweaver: But neither are the father.
*zips pants* Other’s people sperm make good lubricants.
From THERE’S A WHOLE HOST OF NEW NX RUMOURS FLOATING AROUND
Dreamweaver: Wait… does this mean your aunt’s single?
From PLAYING SPORTS VIDEO GAMES INCREASES THE RISK OF PLAYING REAL SPORTS
Dreamweaver: Who won?
From QUANTUM BREAK PLAYS LIKE A DREAM
Dreamweaver: Still sounds like one of my sex dreams to me.
From NO, IT’S NOT IN-GAME, THIS IS LIGHTNING COSPLAY
Dreamweaver: Now that’s a Happy Meal I don’t mind springing for. With my penis.
From MARVEL ANNOUNCES ‘WOMEN OF POWER’ CAMPAIGN THIS MONTH
Dreamweaver: Like the ones on your shoulder.
From PERSONA Q: SHADOW OF THE LABYRINTH IS GREAT, ALSO ON SALE FOR $20
Dreamweaver: This was a pleasant turn of events.
From TWO POKEMON 3DS THEMES ANNOUNCED FOR NEW FILM
Dreamweaver: They hope you’ll headbang so hard, you’ll forget why you called.
From JAPAN’S GETTING THIS SWEET SUPER FAMICOM-THEMED NEW 3DS
Dreamweaver: Guess I’ll have to take over. *maximizes porn tab*
And that’s it for this edition! Don’t forget to like and subscribe to — ah, I’m just kidding! This is Destructoid! Leave your faps below!
