Don’t go into the Blair Witch woods, idiot!

I can’t believe I need to tell you this

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What are you doing with your life, moron? You’re just gonna saunter into some woods that are colloquially named after a witch? You shouldn’t! Why? Because there’s a goddang witch in there!

Here’s an exhaustive list of woods you should visit: The Dippin’ Dots Woods; The Box of Kittens Forest; The Everybody Gets A Free Car Woodlands; The Finding True Love National Park; The Definitely No Blair Witch Here Wildlands Preserve.

You need to see the Blair Witch Forest for the Blair Witch Trees. By that, I mean there could be a witch behind any of those trees. Go to the mall instead.

About The Author
Brett Makedonski
While you laughing, we're passing, passing away. So y'all go rest y'all souls, 'Cause I know I'ma meet you up at the crossroads. Y'all know y'all forever got love from them Bone Thugs baby...
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