Jamie Kennedy — star of such cinematic blockbusters as Son of the Mask and Malibu’s Most Wanted — sucks as a person. After watching the above clip, the only thought that keeps me from drowning my sorrows in a crimson spray flowing freely from my slashed wrists is the idea that Mr. Kennedy realizes exactly how stupid mainstream America has become, and has made a career cleverly capitalizing on the joy all the fat Minnesotan housewives take from watching a caucasian person act in a stereotypically non-caucasian manner.
If he, in fact, has honed his craft into the abomination you just witnessed, I know a guy who sells Klonopin and plastic bags. Just gimme a call and we’ll go into that sweet night together.
Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex.
I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired.
I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.
More Stories by Earnest Cavalli
