Ah, the magic of ESRB rating summaries. The beauty of their hilarity comes from the deadpan way in which they’re written, completely dry and with no sense of irony as they describe ludicrous and lurid details with a completely straight face. The latest unintentional comedy from the ESRB comes by way of Muramasa: The Demon Blade. Check it out:
During the course of the game, players can interact with various characters, some of whom make suggestive comments (e.g., “It is customary for women to be sold here” and “You harlot! I poured all my money into your establishment and now you humiliate me”). One female character wears a kimono that exposes deep cleavage; the character’s breasts frequently sway up and down.
Sounds absolutely delightful. You can count us in!
I think at the end of every year, the ESRB should publish a book filled with its best summaries from the previous twelve months. Something tells me it would top the comedy book charts for a long, long time. In any case, hit the jump if you want the full, sordid description of this upcoming Wii game.
Muramasa: The Demon Blade
Platform: Wii
Rating: Teen
Content descriptors: Alcohol Reference, Fantasy Violence, Suggestive Themes
Rating summary: This is an action game in which players run through colorful 2D platform environments on a quest to collect cursed swords across feudal Japan. Players traverse through ancient cities, forests, and shrines while using swords and magic attacks to battle ninjas and evil spirits. Players earn “combo” bonuses for performing multi-hit “melee” attacks and for inflicting large amounts of damage on enemies. A black-and-pink smoke effect appears as enemies are attacked, and their “soul energy” (i.e., a green puff of smoke) is released when they are killed. Players have the ability to replenish their health and energy with items that include alcohol products (e.g., sake, liquor, and amazake – a sweet alcoholic beverage). During the course of the game, players can interact with various characters, some of whom make suggestive comments (e.g., “It is customary for women to be sold here” and “You harlot! I poured all my money into your establishment and now you humiliate me”). One female character wears a kimono that exposes deep cleavage; the character’s breasts frequently sway up and down.
