Just Crow Things is the latest chaotic game release from Unbound Creations, the studio who also brought us such gems as Rain on Your Parade and Leafblower Man. I wasn’t expecting much when I downloaded the Steam Next Fest demo, but what I got was so much better than I could have imagined.
In Just Crow Things, you play as a Crow, which should be pretty obvious given the title. If you’ve played Rain on Your Parade at any point, you’ll know what to expect from Just Crow Things, but if you haven’t, let me explain.
As your customizable Crow (mine looks like a Chicken), you can fly around different levels and cause havoc. You can poop on unsuspecting humans below at will, steal shiny objects, and use tools such as a Flamethrower, an animal summoning musical flute, and an overpowered Leafblower. And if you happen to find a Coffee, you can drink it for temporary unlimited poop.
It’s your job to help other animals that you meet, completing quests as you go about your day wrecking business. By completing these quests, you’re working towards increasing your Crowputation, proving your worth to the neighborhood bully Crows who stole your family heirloom sunglasses. No, seriously. You also get rewards for completing levels, which mostly seem to be additional hats for your Crow.
You only have a limited amount of poop stored up in your tiny little Crow body. But don’t worry, eating fruit will regenerate poops, allowing you to rain down some good (or bad) luck for a human below. You can eat Beans too, but this will turn your poops into farts, which give you a small amount of boost as you fly or walk.
There are also different types of poops available to unlock, such as fire poop and ice poop. Each of these different types of poop only serves to increase the amount of chaos caused by your Crow butt, adding to the hilarity.
There’s also a pretty fun camera mode, which allows you to not only roam about the levels freely (including through the floor or buildings), but also allows you to move your Crow freely into any position you like. There’s some fun to be had, there.
At one point during the demo of Just Crow Things, I stumbled across the physical manifestation of Steam Next Fest, which is fitting, considering the fact that Just Crow Things is included as part of the event. I’m sorry to say that I completely destroyed the virtual physical version, which was oddly satisfying, though it did leave a rather huge fiery mess behind.
You don’t strictly need a controller to play, though I would strongly recommend it if you have one at hand. The only issue I’ve faced so far is the inability to turn down the volume of Sound Effects, which is an issue if you don’t want your family knowing that you’re playing a game about a bird with digestive issues. Other than that, though, Just Crow Things has been a heap of fun and I can’t wait to go back for more.
It’s not to be taken seriously, by any stretch of the imagination. But with that said, it’s the perfect game if you’re looking for something which doesn’t require you to think too much, or if you’ve had a bad day and want to vent your frustration from above. While there’s only one level in the demo, the full game promises trips to New York City and Egypt, among other places, and I can’t wait to poop my way across every level.
