You probably know by now that Tarantino’s first directorial effort is now being turned into a videogame for the current-gen systems. You also probably knew that it would suck. This first trailer doesn’t look so bad, but notice that the only character from the original movie who provides his voice or likeness is Michael Madsen (Mr. Blonde). All the other models look sort-of-kind-of like their real-world counterparts, but not really. Anyway, the second trailer (after the jump) looks worse.So, it seems the entire game consists of just finding every person you can, holding them hostage, and then bitchslapping them on the head with your pistol until anyone you aren’t currently bitchslapping with a pistol drops their gun. And there’s also some half-hearted attempt at a special bullet time, which seems to be all the rage these days. And did you notice how when Mr Blonde tried to threaten that cop into opening a door, he decided to run along the length of the wall three or four times before doing it, and then one more time afterward? Nice.Also, what the hell? He cut off a guy’s ear, in public, in front of a cop? Is that something he does, like, on a regular basis? The videogame Mr. Blonde’s daily to-do list looks something like this:-Wake up-Eat breakfast-Take somebody hostage and beat them senseless-Shoot them-Take another person hostage-Commence beating-Cut somebody’s ear off-Lunch-Make a police sergeant so scared he clips into a wall a half-dozen times-Cut somebody’s ear off-Short nap-Cut somebody’s ear off-Sleep-Dream about cutting somebody’s ear offBut maybe I’m being too harsh. This is what the comments are for.
Reservoir Dogs doesn’t look that good
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