You might remember that on Monday, Jim gleefully reported on the fact that the scourge of game-based film and bringer of the bleeding eyeballs Uwe Boll is failing dismally to sell a role in his new cinematic hate-crime, Far Cry.
While this widespread apathy to Boll’s generous act of fan outreach / cynical marketing ploy / desperate and miserable attempt to make money / whatever the hell his diseased mind thinks it is is of course hilarious, things have been made a bit more complicated by the current response from Screw Attack. It seems they actually want to give him the cash…
You see they’ve decided to “subvert” the whole fiasco by asking their readers for donations, in a bid to collect together the 2498 Euros ($3352) required to secure the part. The plan is to offer Boll the full asking price and then send someone from their camp over to the set. What happens then is unclear. Some manner of mockery is planned, presumably, and Screw Attack have said that if things don’t go to plan, the funds will be used to buy some big competition prizes for their readers. Fair enough.
The only thing is, isn’t this giving Boll exactly what he wants? The man is nothing but a talentless chancer, skating through the film industry on IP licenses, tax breaks and whorish publicity drives, while geniunely talented film makers struggle to get noticed. While it might be funny to turn up on set and point at him and giggle for a bit, he’ll be the one walking away with three grand in his back pocket and a downpayment on the next IP he wants to ravage for the furthering of his career.
We’re talking about a man who’s freely admitted that his films don’t have to make money to make him a profit before, and someone who’s used critic and fan hatred for free publicity his whole career. Apathy is the best way to quieten people like this, and his auction being ignored was the best thing that could have happened. People like this don’t go away because you rise to them. They go away because you ignore them until they implode.
Of course, I’m fully aware that by even running this story I’m adding to the whole mess by a degree, but seriously, is $3352 in this man’s pocket worth it to give him a bit more of the mockery he thrives on? Unless there’s some assasination plan involved that I don’t know about, I’m not going to be cracking out my wallet any time soon.
Maybe I’m taking this whole thing far too seriously, and should just be enjoying the tragic human sitcom that is Uwe Boll, but while the guy is clearly a moron on a film set, it seems he knows exactly what to do in terms of selling himself.
