Don’t say Shrek…
Nintendo’s April Fools Nintendo Direct was no joke. While there wasn’t a whole lot there that would interest people who aren’t existing fans of the publisher, there was something for just about everyone who already enjoys Nintendo’s brand of game design. It announced new modes and costumes for Mario Kart 8, new StreetPass games, re-confirmed the Fire Emblem/Shin Megami Tensei crossover, showed off a new amiibo card-focused Animal Crossing title, promised a patch to help make Code Name STEAM a lot more fun, teased the localization of Fatal Frame V, and all while jamming an amiibo into every open orifice while laugh/crying until the veins in their heads and necks exploded in to a cascade of blood.
Figuratively.
As great as that all sounds, many would likely tell you that the presentation peaked early with the multiple Smash Bros. announcements. Mewtwo will join the game as DLC in just two weeks. Mii characters are getting new costumes based on Xenoblade, Majora’s Mask, Mega Man X, and more. Lucas will be available for purchase as DLC in June. To top it all off, we can now vote for who we want to see appear in the game as DLC in the future. Nintendo made it clear that our votes will not be the only thing that determines how the Smash Bros. roster will continue to grow, but just knowing that the potential for more of our favorite characters to join the fight has much of the internet freaking out, present company included.
Here are a few of the characters that we’d love to see as Smash Bros. DLC.
Chris: Waluigi
C’mon now, this villain (anti-hero) is due for the spotlight. He hasn’t even had his own debut game yet — despite the fact that New Super Mario Bros. 2 totally should have starred Wario and Waluigi — and he’s just wacky enough to fit as an eccentric DLC character while fitting the Mario theme of many other existing cast members.
His signature tennis racket could serve as the basis for his Smash attacks, his taunt could be a rose pose, and his air-dashes could be something wacky like swimming in the air like Faust from Guilty Gear X. The sky is the limit for Waluigi.
Laura: Captain Toad and Ghirahim
I’m personally throwing my votes in for Captain Toad from Captain Toad’s Treasure Tracker and Ghirahim from Skyward Sword. Why Captain Toad? He’s cute, he’s adventurous and I’d be fascinated by the idea of a character who couldn’t jump. Would he use a jumping item? Would he be land locked? How would that work with certain stage hazards? I want to see Nintendo tackle that challenge.
Why Ghirahim? I know Smash Bros. needs more sword fighters like I need a hole in the head, but I’ve always been a fan of his presentation as well as his combat fluidity. He’s fast, agile, magical and able to constantly misrepresent his location. Mix that in with fast aerial-sword combat and I’m totally on board. Oh, and his Final Smash transformation form is already sorted.
Brittany: Bayonetta
Honestly, the only character I’ve been waiting to see in Smash Bros. will probably never find a home there, but a girl has to keep up hope. My darling Bayonetta, as deadly as she is lovely, is practically begging for inclusion. With plentiful combos and deadly Wicked Weave attacks, she’d string up the competition as the mane event. I’d love to wrap my fingers around my controller and untangle a victory with her.
Plus, there’s the potential of seeing an amiibo figure released in tandem with making her available, and I live for the thrill of chasing those things. Then I could finally put Cereza on a shelf and call her mine forever.
That’s not creepy, right?
Jed: Birdo, Jason from Blaster Master, Mark from Monster Party
Why Birdo? You know why, because I’m a dinosexual.
Jason from Blaster Master — one of my favorite NES titles, and one of the best Metroidvania games, would work great in Smash too. In his home series, Jason can travel on foot or in a tank, which could make him play like a mix between Bowser Jr. and Wario’s motorcycle in Smash. The only big difference being that he could shoot projectiles while in or out of his tank. That’s the “Jason difference.” He also likes frogs.
Mark, the boy hero from the cruelly overlooked Monster Party, was the first character that I’d ever seen reflect projectiles with a baseball bat. Ness is a wannabe poser next to him. Mark also turns into a flying dinosaur-like demon bat that breathes fire. Who cares about Ridley when you could be playing as Mark!
Ben: Dillon, Mallo, and Sakura Samurai
Nintendo had a ton of new IPs on the 3DS, and I’d like to see them have a bit more faith in their new ideas. In particular, Dillon’s Rolling Western, Pushmo, and Sakura Samurai were all really neat, creative games with fun characters who would fit well in Super Smash Bros.
Dillon is already in Smash as an assist trophy, but I still think he’d make a great fighter. Some of his moveset could be similar to Sonic’s, but there’s plenty of other unique attacks they could give him. Perhaps he could even set up gun towers around the map that other players could destroy.
Sakura Samurai would easily work as another swordsman fighter, and Mallo from Pushmo could be really interesting. I’m not sure what his attacks would be, but I’m sure Nintendo could think of something fun. They made the Duck Hunt dog into a fighter, after all!
Holmes: Star Man (from Pro Wrestling), Tingle, Chorus Men, The Wonderful 101
Like Ben pointed out, the Duck Hunt dog’s appearance in Super Smash Bros. of the 3DS and Wii U tells me that anything is possible for the game’s future cast. That said, out of my four picks, the only one that I think has a fighting chance is Chorus Men. Tingle is amazing, but he’s something of a one-note tune in most people’s eyes. Star Man is the greatest wrestler in videogame history, but Sakurai made it pretty clear that he doesn’t want to add new characters to Smash unless they are part of an actively running Nintendo franchise. That’s rule will probably doom The Wonderful 101 to exclusion as well.
On the other hand, Rhythm Heaven is a hugely popular series in Japan, with a new release in the franchise coming up this year. The games haven’t done half bad in the rest of the world either, especially if you count memes as a badge of success. I’ve already voted for Chorus Men once today on the Smash Bros. site, and I plan to continue to do so for the rest of my life, or until Nintendo closes the polls.
Summa: Bo Jackson (Tecmo Bowl)
Before our sports games got all fancy with their simulation stat packing, I was filling out notebooks of game results and meaningless numbers that my best friend and I use to produce after weekend-long dual tournaments played out on Tecmo Bowl. If you played this legendary game, then you know that nobody dominated more than Bo Jackson.
Want a move list? How about a spiked football to the head? How about an up-the-gut rush that knocks your opponent unconscious and utterly useless? If Nintendo wants to play with my nostalgia heart, then introduce this virtual God amongst men.
Patrick: Snake
There is only one answer to this seemingly limitless question: Snake. I’m not even a Metal Gear Solid fanatic (the only game I’ve played is Ground Zeroes), but his Brawl incarnation is so unique and freaking satisfying that I find myself missing Snake every time I look at the character selection screen.
His play style is nothing like anyone else’s; people said Duck Hunt Dog would play similarly, but he just doesn’t. His move set doesn’t need any changes, just make an HD model for him and boom! He’s back.
Kyle: Chun-Li
“Nintendo vs. Capcom” isn’t an actual thing, but it really should be. It really, really should be.
You see, I have this strong desire to spinning bird kick Diddy Kong in the face. Or kikoken Diddy Kong in the face. Or lightning kick Diddy Kong in the face. The point is, Chun-Li is awesome and Diddy Kong deserves to die in a fire. Make my wildest dreams come true, Nintendo/Capcom.
Darren: Bubsy
April Fools!
